A TRIBUTE TO PARENTING ON MOM’S BIG LOCKDOWN BIRTHDAY!
Some early childhood memories of life with Mom, Dad and the Bannister siblings growing up on Frogtown Road (New Canaan, CT), spending the summers at Tokeneke on the Long Island Sound, and often making a trip to Maine for camp, family camp or a family trip. Lots of these memories were written down 15+ years ago on our early summer treks in the Indian Himalaya (even I don’t remember them now). What I do always remember is how incredible in all ways our parents were, and continue to be, and what important influences in all of our continued our lives.
Our beautiful, creative mother has always been our rock, showering us with love, attention, creativity, tenderness and teaching us a love of being outdoors in nature with the birds, bees, squirrels, flowers and trees.
We grew up with homemade dinners at the (set) table together every night, despite Mom working part time for much of our childhood, raising four kids, shopping, cleaning, cooking and gardening, packing our lunches, shuttling us to and from sports events and friends’ houses, on and on – unimaginable how this was all managed without a meltdown. Well, perhaps there were a few, but who remembers!? Personally, I think there should have been more! There were always art projects, books, living in nature, playing creatively indoors and out, what would now be termed sustainable living. And throughout, there has always been unconditional love …
Mostly, Mom taught us all to love one another (not just including our family), to be compassionate, thoughtful, intelligent, creative, and that we achieve whatever we wanted to. We were surrounded by art projects, architecture, modern and antique furniture, cultural events, books, movies, plays and games. My parents sacrificed so much for us, of which I am eternally grateful. How do you ever repay a life given to your kids? They gave me ‘wings to fly’ after graduating from Colgate University, a ticket around the world, which launched me on my present path at Kamzang Journeys, living overseas in Nepal and the Indian Himalaya, hopefully passing on some of what I learned to others …
There is lots more to remember from later in life, but the childhood memories are the most interesting ones!
Love you so much, Mom and Dad!
MOM’S BIG LOCKDOWN BIRTHDAY | PHOTO MEMORIES
With limited photo resources in Kathmandu I don’t have an old family scan of all four of us kids together. But Lindsey is in the oven, ready to join us soon!
SUMMER
TOKENEKE | Sunburned shoulders and peeling nose, the smell of Coppertone suntan lotion, sun-bleached, tangled hair with sand to the scalp and salty skin, extra-large Tokeneke t-shirts, warm sand, styrofoam surfboards, stubbing big toes running on concrete walkways, ‘shopping’ for seaweed on the mud banks, crabs in the rock tidal pools (that sometimes clamped onto fingers), fishing for crabs from the pier with chicken necks, the lifeguards raking seaweed from the beach in straight furrows early morning, sandcastle contests (alligators, frogs and turtles with shells for eyes and seaweed adornments), wild sand storms, warm summer thunderstorms, crushes on lifeguards (who swung their whistles around their fingers on the white, wooden guard chair), sitting at the end of the pier with the lifeguards, playing ‘straw’ in the ocean off the rocking, wooden floats, being scared of the running Blue Fish, spider crabs, horseshoe crabs and stinging red jellyfish, sandbars at low tide, mussel beds, digging for razorback clams on the sandbars at low tide, the distinctive smell of the oceans and sandbars, seagulls (washing off seagull shit), my blue surfing Snoopy bathing suit, swim meets (B team), sticking licked fingers into dry Jell-O mix boxes (strawberry banana), big, soft towels, pig tails, lazy, sun-burned afternoons at friends’ cabanas, sailing on Sunfishes (and capsizing the sail boats), sailing lessons on stormy mornings, tennis ball tag on the sound, waterskiing, goosebumps, the Orangina windsurfer, 3-tree island, sailing and windsurfing to Weeburn, the lighthouse and big, colorful regattas, waves and wind by the 5-mile river, tow-ins by friendly motor boats, Sunday afternoon jazz at the Tokeneke covered pavilion, the checked dance floor, weekend cookouts at the beach, swimming the length of the pool underwater, flips off the diving board and the high dive, 4th of July games in the pool (jumping off the high dive into stacked innertubes, greased watermelons), getting my period on the pier, tennis clinics, my favorite Snoopy tennis dress, oversized white polo shirts, our South African Tokeneke tennis pros, hanging out in the pro shop with the cute tennis pros, making finger casts from paper towels, soap and water from the tennis changing room, searching for overshot tennis balls in the marsh behind the tennis courts, floods under the Darien bridge, honking under bridges while racing home, speed bumps, crisp, clear end of summer days when the boardwalk piers, planks and floats brought in. Ice-cream milkshakes in large, coated paper cups, greasy French fries and California burgers, the wafting scent of the Tokeneke snack bar grill, huge, biting horseflies and bumble bees, frozen Charleston Chews, deep fried clams in hotdog buns, BLTs.
HOME ON FROGTOWN ROAD | Balmy summer evenings at the round, wood table under the apple tree on the slate patio with family, BBQ spare-ribs and grilled steaks (Christie stealing steak from the grill, chasing cats around the yard), playing with our rabbits (Cinnamon and Honey), summer salads, lemon ice in the freezer, iced teas with fresh mint from the garden, seven-layer salads, chilled, icy lemonade, fresh peaches, plums, cherries, nectarines and grapes from the summer market, chilled watermelon slices dripping down chins, homemade popsicles from the freezer, fresh tomato and mayonnaise sandwiches, fireflies collected in glass jars with holes in the lid, crickets, Slip & Slide on freshly cut grass, barefoot running races on the freshly cut grass with family, Dad’s side-kicks, Mom’s Marimekko sleeveless dresses, the Frogtown Fair, reading stacks of books from the library curled on the cream colored couch inside the cool house (The Great Brain, Pippi Longstocking, Laura Ingalls Wilder and the Little House on the Prairie books), lazing in the green room with the plants (great for GI Joe explorations), our rope hammock on balmy summer evenings, symphonies of croaking bull-frogs in the evenings, frogging with nets (slimy frogs slithering through your hands, legs outstretched), skateboarding (down the Frogtown hill, torn jeans, skinned knees + bloody lips), hiding from cars in summer pajamas, Levis cut-offs, suntanned feet, ice-cream cones from Baskin Robbins (mocha almond fudge, pink bubblegum), flavored frozen yogurt. Gail, Ralph and the kids at pool in CT, visiting Judie and the kids at the Jersey shore, Rene’s house (grilled steak sandwiches and strawberry rhubarb pie). Watching fireworks with family on the 4th of July on a picnic blanket at Waveny (very crowded and exciting). The fun of playing with younger brothers (when they weren’t ganging up on older sister), the joys of having a little sister on our team (learning how to change a diaper)!
MAINE | Spotted candy pebbles from the penny candy store in Kennebunkport (the flipping pages ‘movie-book’), long, wild beaches, jumping through ocean waves and freezing cold water, the fermenting scents of the seashore, empty seashells, collecting smooth rocks by the ocean, worn, opaque sea glass and drift wood, sand dunes and long sea grass, people buried in the sand, striped beach chairs and towels, quaint B&Bs, long car rides in the Subaru (with Christie in the back), singing songs in the car, car bingo, alphabet games, peeing between the car doors, Camp Newfound, family camp, canoe excursions with packed lunches, slightly warm cheese sandwiches and oranges, jumping off sand dunes and rolling into the river, paddling (trying not to make any noise, like the native Americans), water skiing on one ski, early morning swims in brisk lake water, basketball net, half of a Pop Tart, talent shows Sunday services, gazebo. Mount Desert Island, Seal Harbor in Sis and Vernon’s motorboat, hair flying wildly in the wind, seals sunning on rounded black rocks, yellow rain gear, steamed lobsters and French fries on the lobster dock (Coke machine), Loafers Point and the fox, day hikes up the Maine mountains, big, Granite rocks and multi-colored lichen, moss, blueberries by the basket-full, popovers and blueberry Jam at The Jordon Pond House, crab rolls, maple sugar candy, pine cones, pine-needle scented pillows, Freeport shopping on the way home.
CAMP NEWFOUND (MAINE) | blut outfits with white trim (sailors), German measle isolation in counselor cabin (the soup tasting of cardboard), quiet hour, archery, dances with Owatana boys, the girl from Caracas, Venesuala (talking in her sleep, the stories).
SPRING & AUTUMN
OME ON FROGTOWN ROAD | Daffodils blooming, paperwhites in glass bowl, raking leaves with the family, jumping in leaf piles (from the U shaped tree limb at front of house), dried leaves stuck in tangled hair, climbing trees (the Birch tree down from the roof), sitting in the U shaped tree limb), paper mâché and chicken wire Halloween costumes, carving Halloween pumpkins, grilled pumpkin seeds, ginger cookies with orange icing and raisin faces, Easter baskets, coloring eggs and egg hunts at Waveny Park, walks on plank bridges in the woods at the Country School, the strong small of skunk cabbage deep in our woods, making forts near the stone wall, the Zip line, jumps for bikes in the woods, chopping wood and bon fires at the barn (grilled marshmallows, hot Bisquick biscuits on sticks, filled with jam). Mom’s very curly perm, Gar and my matching leather lederhosens, jean skirts made out of old jeans and cloth patches, frayed jean shorts, Mom’s home-made Easter outfits, pilgrim costumes, the living room craft shelves, the paper bags full of recyclable craft material, forts in the playroom, the jungle jim covered with a cloth and water in the samovar, blocks and toy train set, turning over matching cards, aunt farms, sand paintings. Strawberry shortcake and pink cotton candy, rides at the May Fair, pony rides and crafts at the Frogtown Fair, birthday parties with coins wrapped in wax paper in angel food cake, cheese cakes with sour cream frosting.
Staying the weekend at Tante’s house (watching Miss America Contest downstairs, eating thick slices of Pepperidge Farm toast with lots of butter). Thanksgivings at Frank and Didis (Darcy, Joce, Quentin, cocktails, chilly afternoon football games). Field trip to the Museum of Natural History in NYC (truck accident on highway in front of the bus, dinosaurs), the Bruce Museum (fetuses in jars), MOMA, tours of the Met with Didi in NYC. Yellow forsythia blooming at the end of the driveway, honeysuckle near the barn, hay rides, making dipped candles and hard, red candied apples, rich, autumn colors at the Nature Center. Brownies, brown uniforms with pins, camping and being terrified of racoons in the sleeping bag, frying our own hard-cooked eggs, learning Spanish and making fried plantains with school friend’s mother, sleep-overs and ghost stories. Dad cutting the grass, all of us raking leaves, jumping into the tarp while dragging leaves to the compost pile, deer in the woods. Riding bikes around the Ponus Ridge neighborhood, Scottish bagpipes and kilts, training the dog and horse riding lessons at Ox Ridge hunt club, piano lessons at the Country School.
The fold out dining room table when guest came over, ‘cocktail parties’ (rolled up ham and cream cheese, celery with cream cheese and seasoned salt), Dad coming home from work in NYC, smelling smoky from the train car, trips to Dad’s office, the smell of roasting chestnuts and pretzels on the street, slices of NY pizza, Tante (plastic toys for playing on the lawn, ‘beaus’, polyester pants, paintings), Nane (striped red and white wrapped presents, always beautiful, grace), Nana, Judie and the kids coming to New Canaan, Nana’s dark chocolate coconut eggs and fudge in the refrigerator, pheasants, new leaves and green grass, the smell of damp spring dirt, catching falling leaves while waiting for the West School bus (making a wish). Field trip to Devon Plains, my stuffed hawk, night lying in grass and gazing up at the stars. Mom’s nature walks through the salt marshes, Canadian geese flying south in Vs.
WINTER
HOME ON FROGTOWN ROAD | Mom’s fur hat and muffler, Mom and Dad’s matching navy blue ski suits, Dad playing the guitar (‘Green, green’), Ian & Sylvia playing on the record player (‘The Circle Game’, the broken record hidden at the bottom of the magazine basket), Sally and Al over for Sunday dinners (clean plate club), playing ‘steal the ice from the freezer’ with siblings (after bedtime). Christmas stockings at the foot of the bed (the excitement!), opening presents in Mom and Dad’s room on Christmas morning (fire in the fireplace, all the kids together), Christmas tree sugar candy lollypops, soft boiled eggs with chick egg warmers, Dad’s yodeling, family trips to ski at Stratton, VT (Uncle Frank’s condo, Beetles albums, James Taylor), family trip to Jackson Hole (frozen skiing, windy gondola, Ralph piloting the plane to Jackson, bumpy flight, sauna). Homemade Christmas cards with colored tissue paper, paste and cutout shapes.
The scent of baking cinnamon, cloves and sugar from the kitchen, hot cinnamon rolls with hard sugar topping and sticky ‘pull bread’, the smell of freshly baked loaves of bread, apple pies (making jam tarts with leftover dough), snow cones with maple syrup, Shepherd’s Pie with freshly ground meat (old fashioned meat grinder clamped to the wooden countertop), meatloaf, fondue, honey tea when we were sick, gingerbread houses with frosting and gumdrop roofs. Rooms with stencils and brightly colored bins, flashlights shown through hands in the dark, reading books in bed with same flashlight.
Bird feeders (some with suet) and the variety of birds, shells of seeds, squirrels and chipmunks on the snowy patio, woodpeckers, snowmen with sticks, snowball fights behind snow walls, family tobogganing at the Country School hill (everyone’s feet out straight to stop the momentum, jumping sideways off toboggan before the woods), round silver trays for sledding, blue plastic sleds with brakes, wooden sleds with metal runners, snow angels in freshly fallen snow, the ice storm, ski-skates from cut milk containers on the frozen orchard ground, the excitement of snow days and school delays, the Winter Club, frilly skating dresses, tights and white polished figure skates with guards, figure 8s, freestyle skating programs (‘Grease’), Beach Boys and Beetles playing from loud speakers on Saturdays, my Hustle 76 album, sunny weekend mornings skating on freshly Zamboni-ed ice, broom hockey (also on the sketchy pond), standing on the benches, chilly, watching the boys hockey games, the sharp sound of pucks hitting the sideboards, hockey boxes and rubber jigsaw mats, June and her jeep, 6 AM, dark, frozen morning figure skating practices, coffee with creamer, frothy hot chocolate and instant soup in Styrofoam cups from machine social Wednesday nights at the rink with the Country School boys, playing ‘Bloody Murder, running home in the dark.
